Lame Fads
Somewhere along the way, while I wasn't looking, it became "fashionable" for women to like team sports. When the hell did *that* happen? It all snuck up on me, and I'm usually pretty observant. One year, women gathered in kitchens across America with their "coffee klatch" friends, complaining about how they can't get their "lazy" husbands off the couch and away from the TV during football season; the next year, they were all clamouring for tickets to the Super Bowl.

What kinda bullshit is that?

Am I supposed to "buy" that all of a sudden a bunch of women realized they are simply orgasmic over football, or what? Heh - fat chance. It became a "fad" - and that's all there is to it. A white, middle class, "team mom" kinda lame fad.

Granted, some women really do like team sports. But in my experience they are rare, and, in my opinion, usually rather warped - like most men who like team sports.

Here's another lame fad... Online, on any gaming site where people gather in a "room," I've noticed a huge identity crisis among women (mostly). They can't seem to come up with nicknames that don't reflect a lack of a sense of self. "JacksDream," "EdsAngel," "JohnsSweetie," etc. I even saw one that was "MyHubbysWife"! Surely, women can see that they're people in their own right? But just once, I'd like to see "RalphsHardOn" as a nickname. 'Course, anyone who'd take on such a name needs to have some balls (no pun intended), which those who don't even see themselves as individuals, naturally lack.

I was once in an online gaming room when an Aussie friend of mine (male) waltzed in using the name "GreydoesGroinalAppendage." I could hardly play from laughing so hard.

Alongside "AlsWetDream," there are a lot of women who are moms and grandmas. "KimmysMommy," "Alexsmom," "Motherof4," and so on. Those are sad enough, but the ones that get me wretching are the oh-so-cute grandmas who call themselves "nana." Oh, gag me with a spoon!

It reminds me of all those precious "World's Best Grandma" coffee mugs and tee shirts they buy *for themselves*. I find it all terribly embarrassing - full grown women designating themselves such. Proudly, mind you.

Oh, I know - what kind of person attacks "nanas"??

Me.

Ok, ok - but doesn't one sort of outgrow ostentatious cuteness after the age of 6 or so? In fact, true "cuteness" isn't self-agrandizing - that's mostly why it's cute.

Don't get me wrong. In my opinion, there are fewer beings more genuinely cute than old folks. I like 'em. I've always liked 'em. It's only when they're desperately *trying* to be cute - when there is a "cuteness pretense" - that it becomes cloying. Please, grandmas of the world - let the grandkids call you "nana" - don't *you* call yourself that. It's gross.

But I ask myself why these tendencies are so common as to be nearly epidemic? I remember a time when it was considered good and noble to be different. Of course, even then there were hordes of little wankers saying, "I'm a non-conformist, and so are all my friends!" I mean, when the trend is toward individuality, it's difficult to be sincerely "different" unless you REALLY ARE! (heh)

But now ones self-worth lies in how good a "team player" they are. And how closely one identifies with said team - the family - the country, etc. Strange, isn't it, that this is the trend, while people are actually more isolated, emotionally, than ever? Maybe not so strange...

And I don't really think there's anything "wrong" with feeling you "belong" to your spouse, so long as you also feel they belong to you. Still, I've never seen a man use a nickname like "SallysMainSqueeze." I'd put all that I have on the observation that men just don't see themselves as extensions of someone else. I have, once or twice, seen a "KevinsDad," but it has literally been once or twice in the fifteen years or so that I've been online.

Anyway, I think it's fine to be proud of your kids, and/or grandkids, too. The problem, for me, is when spouses, moms and grandmas identify themselves *solely* through that role.

I can hear it from here... The line I've heard most of my adult life: YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED AND DON'T HAVE KIDS OF YOUR OWN. Oh, barf. And hogwash. And now for added "fun," since nearing 50, I've also begun to hear the occasional: "IF YOU HAD GRANDCHILDREN, *THEN* YOU'D UNDERSTAND!" With the divorce rate what it is, being legally married is no indication that one knows how to have a committed relationship - or any relationship, for that matter. And having kids does *not* bestow some magical understanding of them. In fact, I would argue just the opposite.

I think something *does* happen to people when they become parents. I don't know that I'd call it "magical," exactly. It seems to manifest itself much as BRAIN DAMAGE. Have a kid and suddenly (and it does seem sudden) lose all perspective and ability to reason. It appears to cause a strikingly obvious deficit - even in people who were formerly quite bright, aware and objective.

Which brings me to another lame fad: The Idolization of Children...

My god (no pun intended), you'd think the little buggers were made of gold. Very breakable gold, at that. So delicate, they're forced to wear *helmets and pads* while riding their "Hotwheels" tricycles ON THE SIDEWALK. I say it's the elderly people who are trying to walk on that same sidewalk who need the helmets and pads...

I'm sorry now that I broached the subject of parenthood. To even begin to scratch the surface would take far more words than I'm prepared to write today. Suffice it to say, most brain-damaged adults (IE: parents) seem hell-bent on imposing their own deficiencies onto their kids - and onto anyone who dares *look* at their kids, let alone speak with them. Panicky, over-reactive, repressive, overly-protective, insecure, clingy, irrational adults should not be *around* kids, let alone parent them. But of course one is a symptom of the other - not the cause.

Keep 'em safe, mommies and daddies. Don't let them out of your sight, and, above all, don't expose them to any form of reality. You don't want your little fetishes getting too wise, do you? You better censor what they read, hear, and see, and make sure all around them is "safe," by your standards, anyway. Then, when reality inevitably seeps between the cracks (oh yes - there will be cracks) and your kiddies see it for the very first time in all its splendid starkness, and grow angry at having been lied to all their lives, and go and shoot up their high schools - don't worry. You can always blame the friends they have, the music they listen to, the movies they've seen, or the video games they play. You can still avoid the truth - don't worry. It will always be someone else's fault. Because, after all, you did your best to shelter them. You did your very best.

But don't listen to me, or those who see the same thing I see. They probably don't have any kids, either - and so also don't know what they're talking about. Right?

I'll get back to this (like it or not - ) when I feel like writing more (LOTS more) words.